#5 from The One With All The Rugby
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Rachel: Chandler, there's a guy right over there.
Chandler: That's a mailman! That’s our mailman! Hi. How are ya?
Rachel: Chandler, don't worry! This doesn't make you less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! What am I sitting on? I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
#4 from The One With All The Cheesecakes
Chandler: Well, thank you for lunch.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute, I didn't pay, I thought you paid!
Chandler: So apparently we just don't pay for food anymore. (pause) Do you see what I see?
Rachel: It's still there!
Chandler: Mrs. Braverman must be out.
Rachel: She could be out of town. Maybe she'll be gone for months.
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We don't want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Rachel: No that could kill her.
Chandler: Well, we don't want that.
Rachel: No, so we're protecting her.
Chandler: But we should take it.
Rachel: But we should move quick.
Rachel: Because I think I just heard her moving around in there.
Chandler: Go! Go! Go!
#3 from The One With Rachel's Going Away Party
Rachel: Oh, honey...
Chandler: Let me just say something, because once we get into this, I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke. I just want to say that I... I love you... And, I'm gonna miss you. And I'm so sad that you're leaving.
Rachel: Oh, you know what? Let's not say anything else. I love you. (they hug)
Chandler: Ooh, not so tight... (blows raspberry, and the hug ends) I'm sorry, just give me one more chance.
Rachel: Okay. Oh...
(Chandler blows raspberry again)
Chandler: I'm sor... Just go. Just go. I can't, I can't.
#2 from The One With Two Parties
Chandler: Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.
Rachel: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Chandler: Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program of denial and, and wetting the bed.
Rachel: Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.
Chandler: Because it reminded you of the way our forefathers used to bitch at each other?
Rachel: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset because nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occurred to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
Chandler: I, I know.
#1 from The One With The Girl From Poughkeepsie
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Chandler: I did! I absolutely did!
Rachel: You idiot!!
Chandler: I'm sure you're right, but why?
Rachel: You don't tell a guy that you’re looking for a serious relationship! You don't tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Chandler: Oh, man. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry.
Rachel: Y'know, you should never be allowed to talk to people!
Chandler: I know! I know!
Rachel: Oh! See just I'm right back where I started! Aww, this sucks! Being alone, sucks!
Chandler: Well, y'know, you're-you're gonna meet somebody! You're a great catch! Y'know when I was telling all those guys about you, I didn't have to lie once.
Chandler: Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right?
Chandler: Oh, it doesn't matter. Hey, y'know what, I've got two tickets to tonight's Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Rachel: Cute guys in little shorts? Sure.
Chandler: Well, actually it's a hockey team, so it's angry Canadians with no teeth.
Rachel: Well, that sounds fun too. Thank you.
Chandler: Have you ever been with a woman?
Rachel: What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.